V A G A B O N D M A T T E R
A L O V E L E T T E R T O E X I S T E N C E
A L O V E L E T T E R T O E X I S T E N C E
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ABOUT
Vagabond Matter, A Love Letter to Existence (VM), began in 2013 as a conversation about science: the extraordinary knowledge gained since the scientific revolution and how this has transformed our understanding both of what we are, and our place in the cosmos. Researched between 2013 and 2019, the R&D alone impacted hugely on our perception of existence. It also took quite a long time. And, in the meantime, a lot of life unfolded - life that soon wove itself deep into the show. Love and loss, euphoria and dysphoria, gender transition and personal transformation, and a huge amount of letting go. In the overlap between the between the personal narrative and the cosmic science, the heart of the show began to beat around two themes: transformation and impermanence. The creative process was intense, and intensely different to how we’d worked before. It was a huge leap forwards artistically, and was far more personal and intimate than anything we’d made previously. It was made with so much love, so much courage, and an almost indescribable amount of hard work. It truly was a love letter to existence. |
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Then, in early 2020, after 7 years of evolution, the final weeks of VM went something like this:
3 weeks prior to the premier, Acrojou’s executive director unexpectedly resigns, giving exactly 3 weeks notice and leaving the company in a dire financial situation.
We preview. The team is stressed and exhausted and the show is not ready.
We have one more week of rehearsals prior to the London premier, for a strategic invited audience on whom VM’s tour depends.
5pm on premier day the theatre’s boiler explodes, oozing black water down the venue’s walls. The fire brigade deem the venue unsafe for the public.
The cast, evacuated midway through the final run-through, and are told the news barefoot on a cold london street, not wearing much more than ash and boxers.
The team disperse that evening, a strange and abrupt end to an intense creation period. The show is packed into a garage.
The next morning we begin emergency planning for a new VM premier and tour, as well as hustling to get a Summer tour for our older shows to try to save the company.
The pandemic hits and everything is cancelled. Again.
Jackson, VMs director/ performer/ writer, finally stops for a 2 week holiday and immediately collapses into what turns out to be a very severe burnout.
At the time of writing (early 2023), Jackson’s recovery is still in process, and VM is still in the garage.
What to take from this?
Whilst heartbreaking, it is perhaps significant that a piece about transformation and impermanence had such an intense creative process and then disintegrated back into nothingness before it ever became a something - VMs cycle of creation and disintegration beautifully mirroring the patterns (big and small) in all of our lives, as well as the movement of energy and matter on both atomic and cosmic levels.
And, as life tends to, the personal story VM was telling continued to unfold, even though VM didn’t. There is, perhaps, a meta version of VM waiting somewhere in our dreams - a seed sat quietly in that garage and our hearts. The piece about the piece that never was, and all the life and transformation that happened through its creation, birth, release - and beyond.
We will see.
3 weeks prior to the premier, Acrojou’s executive director unexpectedly resigns, giving exactly 3 weeks notice and leaving the company in a dire financial situation.
We preview. The team is stressed and exhausted and the show is not ready.
We have one more week of rehearsals prior to the London premier, for a strategic invited audience on whom VM’s tour depends.
5pm on premier day the theatre’s boiler explodes, oozing black water down the venue’s walls. The fire brigade deem the venue unsafe for the public.
The cast, evacuated midway through the final run-through, and are told the news barefoot on a cold london street, not wearing much more than ash and boxers.
The team disperse that evening, a strange and abrupt end to an intense creation period. The show is packed into a garage.
The next morning we begin emergency planning for a new VM premier and tour, as well as hustling to get a Summer tour for our older shows to try to save the company.
The pandemic hits and everything is cancelled. Again.
Jackson, VMs director/ performer/ writer, finally stops for a 2 week holiday and immediately collapses into what turns out to be a very severe burnout.
At the time of writing (early 2023), Jackson’s recovery is still in process, and VM is still in the garage.
What to take from this?
Whilst heartbreaking, it is perhaps significant that a piece about transformation and impermanence had such an intense creative process and then disintegrated back into nothingness before it ever became a something - VMs cycle of creation and disintegration beautifully mirroring the patterns (big and small) in all of our lives, as well as the movement of energy and matter on both atomic and cosmic levels.
And, as life tends to, the personal story VM was telling continued to unfold, even though VM didn’t. There is, perhaps, a meta version of VM waiting somewhere in our dreams - a seed sat quietly in that garage and our hearts. The piece about the piece that never was, and all the life and transformation that happened through its creation, birth, release - and beyond.
We will see.
TESTIMONIALS
"Last nights work was extraordinary. Beautiful and moving and totally immersive. It was an evening full of deeply feeling. Thank you. A beautiful reminder that whilst all this crazy political game/nothingness is happening that we are all in fact existing. Powerful."
Eilis Bevan-Davis - Artistic Director Extraordinary Bodies Young Artists
"Awesome, inspiring, emotional, visceral, emotive… vital. One of the most insightful and thought-provoking endeavours I've encountered."
Sean McGloin
"What an honour it was to share your journey last night, Brave, tender, beautiful and raw. It was something really precious to watch."
Anna Strickland - Missing Link Agency
" All of this work is vital, it is both personal and universal in the way the best work should be. We are all growing, all ever-changing.
This work - both in process and performance- is a deep and delicious embrace of change."
Stella Duffy - Author and Theatre Maker
"Huge congratulations for making something so important. I hope you get to fulfill the full ambition of this beautiful work."
Kate McStraw - Producer & Agent for Change, Extraordinary Bodies
"I can’t not comment on the show yesterday. It was absolutely impossible not to sense what depth it came from. Well done to you for your courage and beautiful,
clever, gentle yet powerful artistic presentation from your heart. It had a huge impact on me. Thank you."
Nikol Sova
"Thank you for sharing your journey with us tonight. I found your honesty alongside really powerful visual scenes deeply moving.
So thank you very much! What a huge journey."
Tony Whitton - Creative and Cultural Economy Service Manager, Kent County Council
"Vagabond Matter is a very special project. My heart was full watching, being there."
Angela Clerkin - Theatre Maker, Director, Writer and Facilitator, Clerkinworks
"What a strong and emotional beast you made!"
Axel Satge - Performing Arts Producer, Split Second
"Beautiful images, moving and also hopeful."
Andrew Loretto - Arts Council England
"I felt very moved... I love the elements you invoke feelings with… that speak of fragility, eternity and yes powerful transformation.
Thank you for your presence , openness and inspiration to journey into each unknown."
Greta Lange
"An absolutely extraordinary show. I was so proud."
Emma Wilcox - Director, Creative Estuary
CREATIVE CREDITS:
Written, directed and designed by Jackson M Phoenix
Devising, creative collaboration and outside eye from Tommaso Giacopini
Concept collaboration with Barney White
Devised and performed by Jackson M Phoenix Barnard, Florian Albin and Cyrille Humen
Lighting design by Robbie Butler
Sound design by Ross Flight
Photography by Ben Hopper
Outside eye from Stephanie Lupo
Outside eye and artistic mentoring from Stella Duffy
Prop and set fabrication by Barney Gibbons and Terry Barnard
Technical Management by Jean Goubert
Photos by Ben Hopper
Special thanks to Judy Barrington Smuts, Petit Pas en Couseran and Stephanie McMann
SUPPORTED BY
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